everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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