Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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