omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
