I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
