dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
