So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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