Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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