1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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