I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Randomize