Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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