Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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