if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she told me i tasted like america
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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