What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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