I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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