I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
