Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
