We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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