who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
