In the future we'll all be gay
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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