I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
