what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
