I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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