she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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