I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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