david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
