I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
