We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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