i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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