haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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