I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
