when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
