How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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