It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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