she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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