I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize