i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
