I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
