what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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