I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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