He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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