Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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