Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
