whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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