I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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