Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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