walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
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