So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
