And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
