you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
