The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
don't judge my taste in strippers
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
