plz talk dirty to me
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Holy shit dude........stairs
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
